Thursday, April 18, 1996

Tourettes Syndrome Telethon


ANNOUNCER should have deeply sincere delivery. Helps to have tape of phones ringing, etc., in background--even better to have the presenter do this in front of a couple of people answering dummy phones and politely saying "!@#$ you" into them.


Tourettes Syndrome Telethon

ANNOUNCER: Fuck evening, (catching himself) shit--no, that's not--good evening FUCKERS. (forcing himself to go on) My name is Jeff Fuckweiler, and I'm here to fuck you. I'm here to ask you for your fuck...your help...in the fffucking fight very painful, debilititating and humiliating FUCK neurological blowjob known as "Tourettes syndrome." Up your ass.
I suffer FUCK YOU from this cruel disease--but I'm not alone.
This disease blow me affects over three million shithead Americans in all fucks of life. Doctors fuck me, lawyers, shitface, even writers, up your ass sideways.
I am one of those fffucks--writers. Imagine eat me the disgrace going into a writers conference and urinating humiliating yourself FUCK by telling a major studio shithead he is a shithead shit shithead. 

Thank you, shithead.
I am not doing this on purpose FUCK YOU. While you may not believe me, fuckhead, I do not believe in fucking profanity. I'm a family man, a political commentator, a deeply committed American dog dick. That's why I need your fuck. But more than that--I need your time, your financial support, your tits, your understanding.  Together we can lick this pussy.
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck all of us.
FUCKING PAID FOR BY THE FUCKING AMERICANS AGAINST TOURETTES SYNDROME. FUCKING CALL NOW WITH YOUR FUCKING PLEDGE OF SUPPORT.
That fucking number again: 1-800-FUCK-TOURETTES.


No comments:

Post a Comment