(to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
On the first day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
An anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the second day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the third day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Two pots of herbal tea
Three healing crystals
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Eight quarantine zones
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Nine iron lungs
Eight quarantine zones
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Ten new pandemics
Nine iron lungs
Eight quarantine zones
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Eleven plague rats breeding
Ten new pandemics
Nine iron lungs
Eight quarantine zones
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Sickness,
Bobby Jr. gave to me
Twelve brain-worms feeding,
Eleven plague rats breeding
Ten new pandemics
Nine iron lungs
Eight quarantine zones
Seven holistic dieticians
Six hypnotherapy sessions
Five vials of snake oil
Four Ivermectin tablets
Three healing crystals
Two pots of herbal tea
And an anti-vaxxer in a pear tree.
© 2025, Daniel and Marty Fugate
All rights reserved