ASAP's Fairy Tales

OK, busy parents! You don't want to deprive your child or children of the joys of hearing you read them bedtime stories. Otherwise, they might grow up to hate you, and you'll wind up throwing yourself under a bus when you hear "The Cat's in the Cradle" playing on the Muzak in the retirement home. You don't want that to happen -- but you don't want to read those long, boring, repetitious bedtime stories either. You want to spend time with your brood -- but you still have stuff to do! Quite the dilemma, ain't it? Well, here's a solution! We call it ...

ASAP'S FAIRY TALES

Yes, our scientifically abridged fairy tales cut the delightful tales of yore right down to their essence. Your child will still have warm, fuzzy memories of YOU reading to them. And you'll have more time for cocktails and casual affairs. Let's get going with your first month's FREE sample package!

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood brought goodies to her Grandma who lives in a cottage in the woods. A cross-dressing wolf tried to eat her. A hunter killed the wolf. The end.

The Big Bad Wolf

A wolf tried to eat three little pigs. He blew down the straw hut and the wood hut. The pigs ran into the brick hut. Wolfie couldn’t blow that down so he climbed down the chimney and burned to death. The end.

The Fox and the Grapes

The fox tried to get the grapes. They were too high. He gave up and decided the grapes sucked. The end.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow White's wicked Stepmother tried to kill her. She wound up living with midgets. Then, her Stepmother tried to poison her with an apple but ate it by mistake. The end.

Jack the Giant Killer

Jack climbed up a magic beanstalk and killed the giant. Then he took all his stuff. The end.

Wasn't that delightful? Well, there's more to come!

Order now, and next month's storytime package will arrive in the mail. Don't neglect these special bonding moments with your child, or children, as the case may be. And if you're too busy, don't forget our ASAP's FAIRY TALES ON TAPE. Your child or children will never forget how much they mean to you!