VD Dreams

(to the tune of "Sweet Dreams" by Annie Lennox)

I think that I have VD

I think that you gave it to me

You don’t get it from a toilet seat

Everybody gets it from someone

There’s a syphilis sore on my hip

A herpes pustule on my lip

My shlong’s swollen up just like a blintz

Gotta wring out the pus with a rolling pin

I think that I have VD

It really hurts when I have to pee

I spray on the stalls right next to me

Everybody runs away screaming

You screw all the people screwed the one you screw

A geometric progression, but I fear it’s true

If one humped a monkey in the zoo

You might as well humped that monkey too

Some of them should be quarantined

Some got mutations in their genes

Hepatitis A, B, C, and D

The kinda crabs you don’t see at the beach

Some of them got a yeast infection

New damn diseases escape detection

Make AIDS look like the common cold

Best stick with porno and just get old

I think that I have VD

My penis fell off, ran away from me

Got on the bus, went to DC

Now it's in the Congress, making speeches