THEODORE "TED" KACZYNSKI—Honor Roll. Marching Band. Woodcarving Club. Forensics Club. Track. Rifle Club. Math Club. Fireworks Club. The Rocketeers.
John...maybe you should've tried Sleep Club! Eight hours a day keeps the nuthouse away. That goes for Brainiacs too!
—Craig
Watch out Russkies! "Cherry Bomb" is closing the math-science gap faster than YOU can say "Kaputnik"!!!!!!
—yer pal, Joey
When is a straight not a square? When he's you, man. (I won't tell.) Like, good luck at Berkeley...dig?
—Maynard G. Krebbs
MEMORY LANE
Hero on the Spot: Ted Kaczynski. First on the scene when the School Records Room burst into
flame. Put out fire and contacted school authorities at great personal risk. Way to go, Ted!
I'll bet you started the fire dipshit.
IMPRESSIONS
Intense...self-motivated..."the thinker." Gentle giant, but don't bug him
when he's doing those linear equations! Neat handwriting!
Forgot to mention: Pretty smart for a pollock. Queer of the year, freak of the week, and creep of the century.
Role Model: George Matetsky.
Favorite Cartoon: "Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land"
Favorite Book: Werner Van Braun's "I Aim for the Stars."
Favorite Movie: "White Heat." ("I love a happy ending!")
What's shaking, Cherrybomb?
Hey, I know your the guy who boobytrapped my locker.
But it's OK! I want to stay on your good side!
—Jeff
Personal Glimpses:
Vivian Gleans, English Teacher: "It's unusual to see the level of philosophical insight and attention to detail such as I see in Ted. Constructive criticism? A 3,000 word paper for a 500 word assignment is "too much of a good thing!"
PS: Your copy of "Walden Pond" is now six months overdue!!!!
Simon Ethridge, Advanced Math Teacher: "Brains+drive+ambition=success! It all adds up, Ted! I'll be looking forward to reading about your accomplishments in the New York Times!
I'll look forward to reading your fucking obituary.
Fuck you commie. Have a short, unhappy life.
And stay away from my sister or it'll be even shorter.
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