OPEN: REN's California modern house, hugging a cliff in the Hollywood Hills.
REN: (addressing camera) Hey! The Taco Ball Chihuahua, it is I! The trapping of Hollywood success surround me. I will call my old friend Stimpy and make him feel bad!
Dials phone.
REN: Hey, Steempy! I love the life of a corporate spokesdog! I've sold out to the man and it feels great! I'm enjoying the good life now!
STIMPY: I'm very happy for you, Ren.
REN: That's a load of crap and you know it! I'm successful and you're a loser! Looooosser. You want my stuff!
STIMPY: Stop it, Ren. I don't want your stuff!
REN: You can't have it! I refuse to share the wealth with losers! I would say curse words now, but this is a show for cheeeeldren.
Someone knocks on door.
REN: Did you hear that? They're bringing me my dinner! That's how important I am. Unlike you. Goodbye forever!
Hangs up phone. Opens door.
SCIENTIST: Your dinner, Mister Ren.
REN: Oh. Tacos! It smells delicious! (he almost takes a bite) Say, wait a minute. You're not the normal food guy. He's a Mexican like me! Who are you?
SCIENTIST: I'm a scientist.
REN: I know that, eediot. You're wearing a white coat! What's going on here? Is this some sort of experiment? You think I'm your GUINEA PIG or something?
SCIENTIST: No. It's just delicious tacos made from Starlink Corn.
REN: Oh, in that case -- I'm starving!
SCIENTIST: Dig in!
REN eats the taco.
SCIENTIST: How'd it taste?
REN: Deeeliciousss!
SCIENTIST: How do you feel?
REN: Great.
SCIENTIST: Nothing bad happening?
REN: No.
SCIENTIST: Not yet?
REN: No. Not yet. (beat) What do you mean, not yet?
REN convulses.
REN: Agggghhhh! What's happening to me?
His foot expands to ten times its normal size.
SCIENTIST: Uh-oh.
REN'S tail expands to ten feet.
REN: What did you give me, you swine?
SCIENTIST: Tacos. Tacos made from corn.
REN: Corn?????
SCIENTIST: Genetically modified Starlink Corn.
REN: I'm. Going. To. Keeeel. You.
EXT, REN's house. The SCIENTIST is running away.
REN bursts through the mid-century modern roof -- now 50 feet tall, enraged.
REN: Stimpy, I'm sorry. This is all my fault for rejecting you. I hate Taco Bell! I hate their filthy genetically modified tacos. I. Will. Have. My. REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He stomps his way into the Hollywood Hills, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Go to --
STIMPY, alone in his house. He looks at the camera.
STIMPY: Gee, I hope Ren's all right. I'm really happy for him. Honest!
Monday, October 30, 2000
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