Close to You Parody

Why do buzzards shriek away in fear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they can't stand to be
Close to you

Why do black holes open in the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they can't stand to be
Close to you

On the day that you were born
The demons got together
And decided to create a monster true
So they sprinkled brimstone in your hair
A jolt of hellfire
In your eyes of grue
And starlight in your eyes of blue

That is why all the girls in town
Run like hell, when you're around
Just like me, they can't stand to be
Close to you