Monday, February 4, 2013

Great moments in the history of Bluegrass

Arthur “Guitar Boogie” Smith noodles away at the banjo. The tune he plays? “Dueling Banjos.” British director John Boorman appears.

Boorman: Hello, mate.
Smith: Hey.
Boorman: Nice tune.
Smith: I guess.
Boorman: Say. Ever read Deliverance...? Splendid novel by that James Dickey fellow. Poet, normally. But it's quite the ripping yarn.
Smith: Uh. No?
Boorman: Splendid. Well. To get straight to the point, I should like to buy the rights to your jolly tune. For filmic purposes.
Smith: Beg pardon?
Boorman: I wish to make “Dueling Banjos” the symbol of forcible male buggery for all tiime.
Smith: What? Sorry. I didn't catch that.
Boorman: I'll pay you a great deal of money to use your song in my next film.
Smith: Oh. Well, that's OK, man. Sure.
Boorman: Here's a check. See? I'm writing it.
Smith: Thanks, man.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Out of the blue and into the black dept.

Tony Soprano watches the Superbowl. Suddenly, the picture goes black.

Tony: Aw ... what the ...? Aw, @@#$ no! The picture goes !@#$ing black? No, come on! !@@$ me! This is a !@#ing cheat! I wanna know what@#$ing happens!