Saturday, August 29, 2020

Star Trek: Yellow Submarine


Captain Kirk: Analysis?

Spock: We have inadvertently traveled through one of the holes in Albert Hall, Captain. This sector of space is unknown, and the craft cannot be identified.

Kirk: What’s the logical thing to do, Spock? You’ve always got an answer.

Spock. Not always, Captain. 99.7% of the time I do. But this is one of the rare exceptions. I have no information regarding our current situation. Therefore, I have no basis to form a logical conclusion. I have no answers.

Kirk: What’s that supposed to mean, Mr. Spock?

Scotty: It means we’re right f**ked, Captain. 

Spocky: Precisely, Mr. Scott. 

Uhura: Captain, the unidentified craft is hailing us. Something about a motor ...

Friday, August 28, 2020

A Dedicated Follower of Fascist Fashion


What’s the Führer about? If you’re Melania Trump, it’s all about you. Achtung, baby! Here she comes, just a goose-stepping down the street in this kicky ensemble by Alexander McQueen. Dressed to kill in the height of fascist fashion! (Our hearts are throbbing, among other things.) Melania really puts the mmmm in militarism, huh? Hitler style, with just a dash of Stalin! This daring will-to-power suit makes quite a bold statement. (Get the message, boys?) She’s really crossed the line today, and she knows it. But that’s Melania’s style. (You really don’t care, do you?) Our dedicated follower of fascism doesn’t follow the rules, she just rules. You see where she’s going with this? Of course you do! (Don’t make me say it.) Read between the lines and get in line. Brownshirt is the new black. And black is the new ... you know. Ta!


Wolf whistle or dog whistle? Who cares? Just put your lips together and blow!