Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Phone Phun

So, I called up various directors getting quotes for an article getting the most out of live theater. One of the phone numbers was wrong. Purely innocent mistake, not mine, won't say who. So, I dial. The phone rings. The seriously wired dude on the other end picks up ...

Marty: Is this John?
Somebody: Yes and no. Who's this?
Marty: Marty.
Somebody: What do you want, "Marty"...?
Marty: Well, the idea is basically "Theater-Going for Dummies." I'm ...
Somebody: Let me stop you right there, bro. I've done what you've done before and I've done it better. I can sell ice to Eskimos and a sack of shit to flies, OK? Don't waste your time, man. Or mine.

He hangs up.

Being an idiot, I think "Gee, must've given the director the wrong impression." Like an idiot, I call back. Phone rings. Somebody picks up again. 

Marty: Yeah, hi, this is Marty again. I think I gave you the wrong impression. Do you think I'm trying to sell you something?
Somebody: No, man. You're not selling me anything.

He hangs up.

Like a supreme idiot, I call once more. 

Marty: Hey --
Somebody: Listen, motherfucker. I'm at work now, man. You call me one more fucking time I swear to God I'll --

I hang up.