Friday, October 3, 1997

An Immigrant's Story

Ancient, black and white footage. Montage of New York City, early 1900s. Steamers, the Statue of Liberty, overcranked shots of crowded streets, etc.

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) In 1907, Nikos Kakakrapulous came to America with nothing but the clothes on his back and a dream.

A young NIKOS KAKAKRAPULOUS addresses the camera --

NIKOS: (scratchy recording, not in sync) In America, anything is possible!

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) Nikos’ dream? Selling human feces.

NIKOS: Americans will buy anything!

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) He quickly took to the streets with a humble pushcart.


More ancient footage.

NIKOS: Turds!

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) No one responded, at first.

NIKOS: Turds for sale! Who will buy?

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) He was, after all, selling steaming human feces.

NIKOS: Fresh! Hot! Turds!

Upbeat 1940s montage.

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) Flash-forward to World War II. Nikos’ turds became a household word.

EISENHOWER: Those turds helped win the war!

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) Today, Americans are buying shit in all 50 states. Nikos’ designer Turde Shoppes can be found in every mall across the nation. But he remains a humble, and deeply grateful, man.


Ancient NIKOS in a hospital bed. The hand of an unseen JOURNALIST holds a microphone to his face. NIKOS speaks with hesitation but a trace of his youthful fire.

NIKOS: When I started … I was alone. Today, everything you buy is shit! Is nothing but shit! My turds have started something that can never be finished. I love this country! I love my turds!

ANNOUNCER: (O.S.) Nikos Kakakrapulous. A man who changed America. With a dream. And a pushcart full of turds.