A Name with No Horse

(to the tune of America's "A Horse with No Name")

On the first part of the journey,
I was starting to burn my balls.
There were billboards and skulls and rusted-out cars,
But no coke machines at all.
The first thing I met, well I kinda forget,
So I cannot relate it to you.
But the heat was hot, and the sand was sandy,
And the sky was a sky-colored blue.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,
He’s got a scratched up saddle, so I think that he’s tame.
In the desert, the sun fries your brain,
Unless you brought a hat or something for shade. 

La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la
La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la

After two days, in the desert sun,
I got a big sore on my tongue.
After three days, in the desert fun,
I started to sing like Neil Young.
We fell into a river, but the river was dry.
I think that I punctured my lung.

You see, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.
The horse kicked my head when I patted his mane.
The desert is boring, everything is the same,
So I named the horse Fred like my Uncle in Maine.

La la, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la
La la, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la

After nine days, I let the horse run free,
And then he got hit by a truck.
There were McDonalds and signs and wires and stuff.
There were winos and hippies and bugs.
Malibu is like a desert with a big ferris wheel.
The pot’s full of bug spray, you can’t get a good deal.
They’re closing the road on account of the horse.
I guess I better avoid the cops.

You see, I've been through the desert on a horse I named Fred.
The vet picked him up so he’s maybe not dead.
In the desert you can act like a jerk,
'Cause there ain't no parents for to put you to work.

La la, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la
La la, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la