The LORD God commanded Ronald, saying, “From any
delicious item on our menu you may eat freely; but from the Baked Apple Pie you
shall not eat, for it is past its expiration date, and you will surely
hurl.
Now the King of Burgers was more crafty than any of the
burger mascots the LORD God had made. He said to the McWoman, “Did God happen
to mention the specific Baked Apple Pie he was talking about? He's obviously
not putting a curse on every last Baked Apple Pie there is‚ just the old pies
going bad. But how old does the pie have to be? See, I’m thinking that
'expiration date' thing is more of a suggestion. Like, if the Baked Apple Pie
has mold growing on it, don’t eat it. Use your common sense. Or your uncommon
sense. And I know you weren’t shortchanged in that department. Or any
department, baby. You ask me, a McWoman like you is a rare combination of brains and
beauty. Now, maybe I’m talking out of turn… But I don’t think Ronald
appreciates you. Or You-Know-Who. But I do. You are definitely the hottest item
to be found under these golden arches, and I’m the King of Burgers, and I
should know. Now, here's my tempting suggestion, if I may be so bold. Let's
just put that Baked Apple Pie on my tab. Sweets for the sweet, you dig what I’m
saying? It ain’t gonna kill you.”
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