Thursday, July 29, 1993

Rage Against the Schween

BILLY -- a SoCal punk in his mid-teens - trucks along listening to a CD on his scratched-up Walkman. He hears a disembodied ANNOUNCER's voice.

ANNOUNCER: Say Billy, what're you doing?

BILLY: Listening to the self-titled "Rage Against the Machine" CD.

ANNOUNCER: Ever wonder where that CD comes from?


ANNOUNCER: I'm glad you asked!

A giant robot claw grabs him by the leg and drags him into the next scene.

ANNOUNCER: It comes from the Machine, Billy!

BILLY: Eagggghhhh!

The claw holds BILLY over a giant, cube-like Machine full of moving parts.

ANNOUNCER: Look at it hum, Billy!

BILLY: Put me down!

ANNOUNCER: It's spitting out Rage Against the Machine CDs, Rage Against the Machine T-shirts, Rage Against the Machine bumper stickers, Rage Against the Machine bobbleheads. Isn't that something?

BILLY: I guess.

ANNOUNCER: I don't like your attitude, Billy.

BILLY: OK, uh. Wow that's some Machine!

ANNOUNCER: Yes, it is, Billy. It's making music industry executives and angry leftist frontman Zack de la Rocha rich! But the Machine doesn't run itself, Billy. The Machine must be fed.

BILLY: What do you feed it with?

ANNOUNCER: Why, you Billy!

Tosses him at the Machine. A metal mouth opens up. Swallows Billy.

ANNOUNCER: Goodbye Billy! Remember what happened to Billy, kids.

BILLY: (muffled) Fuck you, disembodied Announcer voice!

ANNOUNCER: "Rage against the machine" all you want. But don't piss the Machine off!

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