Saturday, August 5, 1995

Christian Programming

Glory hallelujah, and God said let there be television, and there was dear friends, even unto the ends of the earth. But darkness covered the face of the airwaves, even the images and lies of Satan and the World System; and God's people said "we shall be like him, or them, or one of the two;" for there are believers, and they have TV sets, and this represents market share, brothers and sisters, for the flock shall feel guilty watching the images of the world; and the guilty flock is even like unto an untapped demographic. And it came to pass that the market was tapped, and the Christian programming they watched was like unto the world's, but squeaky, and clean; and their consciences were salved and products sold. And the programs were like unto...

DEMONBUSTERS. A ragtag band of exorcists, operating out of an abandoned firehouse. They bind and cast out evil spirits, demonstrating God's power through a series of wacky hijinks.

THE 666 FILES. Follow Christian agents Scally and Meldar as they uncover a secret Satanic conspiracy to set up a new world order.

BAY DON'T WATCH. Loveable teenagers from YOUTH FOR CHRIST witness to the lost on a California public beach and try not to look down.

GODTREK. These are the Voyages of the Whitfield Bible Institute as they seek out new civilizations, destroy their cultural heritage, and convert them to Christianity.

ARE YOU SAVED? A spin on the "Family Feud" which family members point out where other family members are secretly living in sin. A chance to witness...encourage...and earn superiority points!

WHERE IN HELL IN CARMAN SANTIAGO? Learn all the levels of Dante's Hell by seeing where our sleuth is frying. Entertainment only -- because Dante was a Catholic, and this is not in the Bible!

SAVE THAT FETUS! It's a race against the clock as Operation Rescue sidewalk counselors follow God's law in their hearts--whether it means breaking man's law...or someone's head!

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