Necromarketing

INT, HAACK ADVERTISING AGENCY.

Meeting room. A group of ad agency types sitting around a table are about to reveal their efforts to a client – JOE SCHMUTZ, the Dirt Devil CEO. He’s expecting to see a commercial projected on the screen at the front of the room.

SCHMUTZ: OK, show me what you got, Haack. Fred Astaire dancing around with a Dirt Devil, right? Some animation thing with the computer?

HAACK: More like a reanimation thing.

SCHMUTZ: Reanimation … wha?

HAACK: Yes, hmm-hmm. Resurrecting his corpse proved actually cheaper than CGI.

SCHMUTZ: Yeah. Ha-ha. I’m a busy man, Haack. I don’t have time for jokes.

HAACK: No, joke. Hmm-hmm. We call it … Necromarketing! Behold!

FRED ASTAIRE’s reanimated corpse leaps out from behind the screen, starts dancing around with a Dirt Devil.

SCHMUTZ: Jesus Christ!

FRED ASTAIRE starts dancing on the ceiling. Disgusting pieces of him start falling off. SCHMUTZ projectile vomits. Then FRED ASTAIRE leaps down from the ceiling, sinks his teeth in SCHMUTZ’ neck, and begins to feed. The other agency employees run screaming. HAACK and JACK GETZ walk out quietly--then shut and lock the door. HAACK turns to GETZ.

HAACK: Hmm. Well … I think it’s going to need a little more work.

Notes on story:
A commercial premiered during the 1997 Superbowl broadcast showing Fred Astaire dancing around on the ceiling with a Dirt Devil. The vacuum cleaner had been inserted in the original footage using CGI. This segment is part of a longer serial involving the Jack Getz character.