Sex and Pork Rinds

(to the tune of Marcy Playground's "Sex and Candy") 

Hangin' round at the local ice cream shop
Had me a cone

But I know just when to stop
And there she was
A massive fatass pudge
Yeah there she was
Like Crisco double fudge
I smell sex and pork rinds
Who's that breaking …

The back of her poor chair?

Who's that casting devious stares
At my confection?
Mama this surely is a dream