Tuesday, August 23, 2011

In other economic news ...

Basically, ever since 2007, the economic news has sounded like an extended Sam Kinison routine. You turn on the radio. The radio says, "AGGHHHHHH! AGGHHHHH!"

Or, in a slightly calmer tone ...

Panic, panic, fear, bubble, panic. Crisis. Crisis leads to panic and more panic leading to fear. Economic downturn. The lack of consumer confidence creates a lack of investor confidence leading to a universal lack of confidence. Experts say there is no hope. The stock market plummets. The Euro plummets. Investors plummet from skyscraper windows. Panic, crisis, bubble, Greece, Euro, panic, bubble. Millions and millions and millions of. Home loans under water. And dead investors on the sidewalk. Experts say put your money in your mattress buy dried food and load your shotgun. Things could get worse. They just did. And, in other economic news ...



Bubble. Panic, panic, crisis, bubble, crisis. Mortage crisis, savings and loan crisis, housing crisis, jobs crisis, peak oil crisis. Greece defaults. Deficit. Massive, massive deficit. Gridlock. 17 trillion dollars. Stock market plummets. Panic, panic, panic, crisis, downturn, panic. Bubble. On Wall Street today. Panic, panic, crisis fear. Experts say buy gold. In other economic news, panic, panic, crisis, downturn, bubble, panic. Depression, recession, depression, recession. The Great Recession. Double-dip recession, and no more ice cream forever. Panic, panic, crisis. Gold bubble on the horizon? Economic indicators are. All. Bad. Fanny Mae is in crisis. And Spain. And Greece. And Ireland. And Portugal. The Euro plummets. S&P downgrades US credit rating. Fox downgrades henhouse rating. Panic, panic, crisis, fear, panic, crisis. The Chinese are angry. Fear. The Chinese are suspicious. Fear, fear, panic. Mexicans return to Mexico because there are no more jobs. Panic, panic, crisis, fear, panic. Double digit inflation, triple digit unemployment, quadrupal digit digitalis. In other economic news, panic. The Baby Boomers are getting older and sicker. Panic, panic, crisis, fear, panic. Social Security. Panic. Insecurity. Panic, panic.

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