Clownaround

Clown: Well, Mr. Knight. You sure are prolific. Let’s look at some of these titles, huh?

Circus of Blood

The Honking.

Killer Clowns from Inner Space

Red Nose, Black Heart

The Fears of a Clown

Dying on the Inside.

Auggggh! There’s Sulfuric Acid in those Seltzer Bottles.

You know, hyuck. I’m no literary critic.

HONK.

But I detect whatchamight call a theme running through yer books. Maybe it’s my imagination …. But they seem, to be all about evil clowns!

Say …

You know what my father did for a living?

N-no.

Can’t hear you.

No.

No what?

No. I don’t know what your father did for a living.

Wanna guess?

No.

Come on! Don’t be skeered1 Guess!

He was a clown?

That'

He was a clown, that’s what?

Well…the jokes on you! Cauyse you k now how it feels

Children run away screaming

You know what happens now/

Kiuds run away screaming

I only wanted to make kids laught, mr knight

You like to scare people

Huh.

HONK

Me? I like to make people laugh! Especially kids!

HONK.

Once upon a time,

Why kids yused to giuggle and laugh just to see me.

You know what they do now?

Mommy! Daddy! It’s a clown! Help!

You know what mommy and daddy do?

HONK

Wjhu you’d think they’d say clowns are nice! Clowns are goodf@ There’s nothing to be afraid of honey! Ha.

HONK

But you’d have another think coming, Mr. Knight.

They come up to me and styick their fists in my face. You get away from my kid!

Like I’m some kinda pervert or something. Wanna know something else?

The Circus Circus Circus got rid of all its elephants last mpnth. Gusess what else tyhey did?

They fired all the clowns! Elephants work for peanuts you know?

But clowns? Us clowns take home a paycheck!

Or we used to. You wanna know why?

Cause clowns scare the children! Cause clowns scare ecrybody@ Cause nobody likes clons anymore! Cause it’s all your fault!

HONK.

You know how that feels, Mr. Knighgt?

No. Of course not.

But you’re gonna.