And so it was written

EXT, HILLTOP IN ANCIENT ISRAEL — DAY

Jesus preaching the Sermon on the Mount

Jesus: (to Scribe) you getting this?

Scribe: (scribbling away) Oh yeah.

INT, SCRIBE’S HOUSE — NIGHT

Scribe walks inside. Sees various sheets of parchment with obscene drawings on them stuck to the wall.

Scribe: Oh f***!!! Malachi!

Scribe’s Wife: (enters room) What did that little … Oh f***

Scribe: Tell me about it.

Scribe’s Wife: What do we do now? They’re putting the Bible together tomorrow!

Scribe: What … (snaps fingers) We make s*** up.

Scribe’s Wife: Are you crazy?

Scribe: No, you’re right. What was I thinking? We’ll just turn in a bunch of dick picture to the Bible committee.

Scribe’s Wife: I’ll get the papyrus.