Humanoid Robots. Order now while supplies last.

"Loose weight now! Ask me how!"

According to PopSci.com, Tesla wants to make humanoid robots. Gee. What could possibly go wrong? And what the hell is Elon Musk thinking? 

"Make humanoid robots." Nerds should know better!

Musk is presumably a card-carrying nerd, right? Has the man never read a freaking SF story in his life? Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ ...

The VERY FIRST science fiction story was a warning not to build humanoid robots. ("Frankenstein: A Modern Prometheus," natch.) And then there's "Rossum's Universal Robots." And "Colossus the Forbin Project." And "2001: A Space Odyssey." And "Demon Seed." And "The Terminator." And "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream." And "Blade Runner." And "Westworld" the movie. And "Westworld" the TV series. And ... a googolplex of other SF stories. Not to mention "Robot Rumpus." Y'all catch my drift.

These SF writers and filmmakers share a common theme. It ain't complicated. Building humanoid robots is a very, very bad idea. That story's been told. But human dreamers keep telling it again and again and again. Why?

It's as if Somebody Out There has been beaming this notion into the brains of our most imaginative dreamers for over two hundred years. These helpful humans shared the message with the rest of us naked apes. Sadly, it seems we'll ignore the warning. 

We're going to build those humanoid robots anyway, natch. Why? Because people are idiots. Even idiots with high-IQs like Elon Musk.

And that's why our species is doomed.

The friendly aliens will return to the smoldering ruins of earth one day. "We tried to warn them," they'll say with impossible sadness. "We tried."

Now please excuse me while I hit myself in the head with two bricks like one of the Gumby Brothers.

Me brain hurts! It hurts!

OK ... that's better.