Friday, February 26, 1993

American Chainsaw Association

Open: Husband and wife sleeping in bed. Da warm glow of the alarm clock.


Someone kicks in the door!!!

PSYCHOTIC: Eee-haha-haha! The voices in my head command me. YOU MUST DIE!

Mr. PSYCHOTIC revs up a chainsaw, cackling insanely.


ALL AMERICAN MALE HOMEOWNER sits up in bed, contemplating his sudden death. His wife shrieks. MR. HOMEOWNER reaches behind his pillow...

And pulls out his own chainsaw!

He fires it up aaannnd....

Cuts MR. PSYCHOTIC in half from top to bottom. Or bottom to top, if you wanna get more gross.

WIFE: I love you honey.

HUSBAND: I love you, too.


CHARLTON HESTON's giant HEAD appears.

CHARLTON HESTON: Remember. If chainsaws are outlawed, only outlaws will have chainsaws. Please support the National Chainsaw Association. (revs up chainsaw) I do. YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!

He runs out of frame.

No comments:

Post a Comment