Thursday, February 15, 2001

Idea for peace in the Middle East

Goddamnit, I don't care anymore. It's like the Hatfields and the McCoys with towels on their heads and/or beanies. Fuck it. I don't care who's right. it's boring. Not only that, consider the shitloads of money spent to keep the Jews and Palestinians from killing each other. What we need is a quick and dirty solution. I propose interval ownership.

Six months of the year, this prime piece of improbable real estate is "Palestine," the other six months it's "Israel." When it's your time out of the country, the UN puts you up in a four star hotel of your choice anywhere on the planet but the "Holy Land" with free room service, whores...or family entertainment in places like DisneyWorld and Universal Studios for the morally upright. And, speaking of "entertainment resort complexes," the "Holy Land" itself would be turned into a vast amusement park called, well, "Holy Land." During your six months, you'd work as an "entertainer" for tourists around the world -- lotsa bigheaded Jesuses walking on water, signing autographs, etc. (And, of course, the film industry would also provide employment via constant documentaries.) Jews could plant trees. Six months later, Palestinians could dig them up. The Jews could ask for mony to plant more trees.

I think it could work.

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