(The Crap 'n' Poop jingle -- a relentless, swing tune)
It’s your store!
It’s the store with more!
It’s your store!
There’s bargains galore!
It’s your store!
Shopping isn’t a chore …
At your friendly neighborhood Crap ‘n’ Poop!
If you tell us to jump
We’ll ask how high?
We have no pride,
And we won’t ask why!
If it makes you happy, we’ll gladly die!
At your friendly neighborhood Crap ‘n’ Poop!
Feed your needs! Our selection’s obscene!
We’ve got vegetables, tires
And hemorrhoid cream!
Mayan skulls and tubes of Gleem
There’s so much more of what there’s so much more of …
At your friendly neighborhood Crap ‘n’ Poop!
The more you shop, the more you save!
The more you spend, the more you slave!
Feast your eyes and fatten your thighs
As seen on TV, as seen in your dreams
Getting and spending, lay waste your powers …
At your friendly neighborhood Crap ‘n’ Poop!
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