White Heat Cereal

INT, CRAPPY APARTMENT — DAY

Black and white scratchy footage. Mr. Big (James Cagney) and Sugar (Audrey Totter) his platinum blonde gun moll sit at a table. There's a box of WHITE HEAT CEREAL (with a picture of a Colt 45 aimed straight at you) and a bowl. The Announcer is Humphrey Bogart.

Announcer: (OS) For a kill-crazy criminal on the run, there’s only one way to start the day. White Heat Cereal, with real film noir flavor!

Mr. Big pours cereal into bowl. The cereal is shaped like two X-es fused together.

Mr. Big: Say, it’s a double cross!

Announcer: (OS) Sure. Theres a double cross in every bite.

Sugar smirks.

Mr. Big: Say, what are you looking at?

Rams a grapefruit in her face.

Mr. Big: Now get me the morning paper. Make yourself useful.

She runs out of the room crying.

Mr. Big digs around in the cereal box.

Mr. Big: Say, where’s my prize? There's no prize in the box! I want my prize!

Sugar walks back in. Steely look in her eyes. Not sobbing anymore.

Sugar: Oh you do, huh?

Mr. Big: Yeah! I deserve it, huh? I wanna get what I deserve!

Sugar: Oh, you’re gonna get it all right. (sweetly) OK, honey. Close your eyes and get ready for a big surprise!

Mr. Big closes his eyes.

Mr. Big: Top of the world, Ma!

Announcer: (OS) Here’s your prize.

The Colt 45 on the cereal box shoots Mr. Big in the face.

The Announcer enters, puts his arms around Sugar's waist. 

Announcer: Say ... Looks like he didn’t finish his cereal.

Sugar: Too bad. It’s the most important meal of the day.

They share a laugh.

Sirens. (OS)

They run.