Monday, September 3, 2012

White Heat Cereal


INT, CRAPPY APARTMENT -- DAY

Black and white scratchy footage. James Cagney and his platinum blonde Gun Moll sit at a table. There's a box of WHITE HEAT CEREAL (with a picture of a 45 aimed straight at you) and a bowl.


ANNOUNCER: (OS) For a kill-crazy criminal on the run, there's only one way to start the day. White Heat Cereal, with real film noir flavor!

James Cagney pours cereal into bowl.
The cereal is shaped like two X-es fused together.

CAGNEY: Say, it's a double cross!

ANNOUNCER: Sure. There's a double cross in every bite.

Gun Moll smirks.

CAGNEY: Say, what are you looking at?

Rams a grapefruit in her face.


CAGNEY: Now get me the morning paper. Make yourself useful.

She runs out of the room crying.

Cagney digs around in the cereal box.


CAGNEY: Say, where's my prize? There's no prize in the box!

ANNOUNCER: (OS) Here's your prize.

The 45 on the cereal box shoots Cagney in the face.

The Announcer enters with the Gun Moll.


GUN MOLL: Say. He didn't finish his cereal.

ANNOUNCER: Too bad. It's the most important meal of the day.

They share a laugh.


Sirens. (OS)

They run.





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