Sunday, April 27, 2014

The Procrastinator


Crackling electrical display. The Procrastinator appears.

Approaches a group of punks.

PROCRASTINATOR: Give me your clothes.

PUNK: No. Come back later.


He walks away. Goes to a phone kiosk, flips through phone book.

Turns to listings for SARAH CONNOR.

His Procrastinator Vision reveals dozens of Sarah Connors.

PROCRASTINATOR: Screw it. I'll just do the first one.

He drops phone book, walks away.


Reese is sitting at a booth in front of an empty plate. Sarah Connor, in waitress uniform, walks up.

SARAH: Do you want to look at our dessert menu --

REESE: (grabs her) Listen to me!

SARAH: Hey, skip dessert! I don't care!

REESE: Pay attention! I come from the future.

SARAH: Great Scott!

REESE: Yeah, and a killer robot just came from the future, too. He's out to kill you, Sarah. He's called the Procrastinator. He -- actually, you know I would like an eclair or something. The food's pretty shitty in the future.

Sarah and Reese sitting at booth. He finishes eclair.

REESE: Anyway, the machines used up all the good robots killing the TV show on Fox, so they sent the Procrastinator ...

SARAH: After me?

REESE: Well, somebody with your name. And you're the first name in the phone book! He's lazy. That's just the way -- focus! That Procrastinator is out there. It can't be reasoned or bargained with. It absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead. Or if it gets bored or distracted by something, which usually happens in the first five minutes.

Door bursts open.

Reese ducks. But it's just --

A garage-station attendant named Clyde and two police officers.

CLYDE: (pointing at Reese) He stole my jumpsuit!

REESE: What are you talking about? (looks down) Ah shit, there's a name tag. First rule of time travel. Never steal clothes with a name tag.

POLICE OFFICER: You'll need to come with me, pal. You too, lady.

SARAH: Do you want to look at our dessert menu?

Procrastinator walks in. Goes up to Sergeant at front desk who's eating a pie from Sarah's restaurant.

PROCRASTINATOR: I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. Can I see her, please?

SERGEANT: Not now. She's making a statement. You wanna wait?  


He turns and walks out.

The DESK SERGEANT returns to his pie.

Nothing happens.

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