Monday, August 8, 2016

Donald Trump considered as the new Number Two

The Prisoner wakes up in a spot-on replica of his London flat in the Village. After the initial period of jarring disorientation, he bursts into the office of Number Two. And finds none other than Donald Trump sitting in the iconic Egg Chair. The Prisoner looks at him, shaking with Celtic rage. He asks the obvious question ...

Where am I?
In the Village. Not just any village, lemme tell you. You've just been abducted to the greatest village in the world, right here, right now. This is a Village of winners. This may be politically incorrect to say, but all those other villages are for losers. Greenwich Village, Potemkin Village, any village you want.  They're full of Mexicans and village idiots. I don't have time for them.

What do you want?
Since you ask, information. You ask me that. A lot of people ask me that. Really, really important people. James Bond, Elvis, Marilyn, whoever. My response? Straight up, I tell them what I tell you: "I want information." Now you know what I want. That's a form of information! It's a win-win situation. I give you information, you give me information.

You won't get it.
You're wrong. Look at my track record. The information I get is amazing, it's colossal, it's unbelievable. I get so much information I forget how much information I have. You will too. Sooner or later, you'll come to me and ask to look at your file. "Hey, I forgot what I did in Istanbul in April Whatever, 1963." I'll tell you exactly what you did. I'll give you information about you. That's how much information I'll get.

Whose side are you on?
My own side. Everything else is negotiable.

Who are you?
Don... I mean, the new Number Two. Listen, the old Number Two is gone, he's history, he's out of here. We flushed him down the toilet like that other Number Two. Now I'm here, nobody predicted it, nobody expected it. I'm the "new" Number Two. That's not talk, it's not spin. The "new" I represent is a whole different level of new. Yeah. When I say "new," I mean newer than new, newer than yesterday, today, tomorrow you name it. The difference is huge.

Who is Number One?
That question comes up a lot. A lot of people ask me that. I don't know why, because the question is  stupid, just a waste of my time, so totally, unbelievably unimportant. I'm Number Two, that's what's important. Number One isn't here, I am. Who is Number One? I'll get back to you on that. The truth is I won't. I'll tell you who are right now. You're Number Six.

I am not a number! I am a --
Loser. Why'd we grab you in the first place? I like spies that don't get caught. You I don't like. You get deported. I don't want you here. How do you like that?

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