Saturday, April 22, 2017


The Coyote is lying on the couch. The Shrink, who looks exactly like Sigmund Freud and speaks with a German accent, is taking notes.

Psychiatrist: Please continue.
Coyote: Well, uh, I'm chasing the Road Runner.
Psychiatrist: Yes. As you have your whole life. Go on ...
Coyote: Well ... I chase it up to this tunnel.
Psychiatrist: A tunnel, ja.
Coyote: Yeah. A tunnel I've painted on the side of a cliff.
Psychiatrist: Mmm-hmm.
Coyote: It's an illusion, right? But ... that annoying little bird goes right into the ...
Psychiatrist: Into the tunnel, ja?
Coyote: Yeah, the ...
Psychiatrist: Enough of this!

Psychiatrist throws down notebook in disgust. Stands up, face red, fists balled, enraged.

Psychiatrist: I fully realize this is highly unprofessional, but you are wasting my time, sir!
Coyote: Wha ...
Psychiatrist: Into a tunnel! Into a tunnel! What do you think this means?
Coyote: I don't ...
Psychiatrist: You are sexually attracted to the Road Runner! That is what it means! It is, of course, what it means!
Coyote: I don't ...
Psychiatrist: You are officially cured, OK? This session is free ... Just get out! Get out of my office!
Coyote: Fuck you, pal.

The Coyote leaves. The Psychiatrist sits back down. Hold a beat. Then the Receptionist's voice chirps over the intercom.

Receptionist: The next patient is here to see you doctor.
Psychiatrist: Please. Send them in.

Door opens. The Road Runner enters. Psychiatrist smiles. Far too friendly.

Psychiatrist: (indicating couch) Please. Make yourself comfortable.

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