Mister Rogers' Apocalypse Neighborhood

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This Internet meme is floating around ....

Mister Rogers was a US Navy Seal. He was a highly trained sniper who saw combat in Vietnam. After the war, he became an ordained Presbyterian minister and a pacifist. He wore a long sleeve sweater to cover the many tattoos on his arms. 

OK. If that were true, what would an accurate Mister Rogers movie look like?

Here's a trailer ...

EXT, NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKEBELIEVE - DAY
Montage of destruction, napalm, dogs and cats living together.

Mister Rogers: (VO): I’ve been a soldier since I was 19, mmm-hmm. I asked for a mission. Well, they gave me one, that’s right. It was a very special mission. I don’t think I’m going to ask for another one.

INT, UNDERGROUND PLANNING ROOM
Mr. Rogers hunkers down with two shadowy military intelligence types.

Mister Rogers: What's the mission, Colonel?

Colonel: You'll enter the Neighborhood of Makebelieve in a Navy Trolley and pick up King Friday’s path. When you find the King, infiltrate his castle by any means available and terminate his command.

Mister Rogers: Terminate?

Willard: With extreme prejudice.

Mister Rogers: (VO): Prejudice is bad, kids. But what he means is killing. Sometimes that’s good.

EXT, NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKEBELIEVE - DAY
The train track takes the Trolley through ruins. Smoldering heaps of dead puppets. Pyramids of puppet skulls.

Mister Rogers: There goes the neighborhood.

Henrietta Pussycat: Meow-meow scared!

Mister Rogers: You should be, Henrietta Pussycat. You should be.

Laurence Fishburne: F*** this shit. I'm going back to Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

He jumps off.

The rails come to a twisted end at the smoking wreckage of a station. The Trolley stops. King Friday's castle looms in the background.

Mister Rogers: Looks like we’ve arrived.

Looks back at Trolley. Henrietta Pussycat has been impaled with spears.

Mister Rogers: Or "I've" arrived. Well. You can never go down the drain ...

Leaps in swamp.

Pops out of King Friday's toilet.

Mister Rogers: But you can come up!

An enormously fat, Brando-esque King Friday regards him, surrounded by boxes of takeout food.

King Friday: Are you an assassin?

Mr. Rogers: I’m a soldier.

King Friday: You’re a delivery man working for grocery clerks.

Mr. Rogers: (points) No, he’s the delivery man.

Front door opens. Mr. McFeely enters.

Mr. McFeely: Speedy delivery! Here are your groceries.

Mr. Rogers: You should cut down on the groceries. By the way. I am an assassin.

Go to black.

Audio: THWACK!

Announcer: (OS) Francis Ford Coppola's "Mister Rogers' Apocalypse Neighborhood." Coming soon to a theater in your neighborhood.