The Dead Witch Problem

Ext. Battlements, Wicked Witch's Castle - Night
A Winky Guard pokes two Winky Workers along the castle parapet with a sadistic-looking spear.

Guard: Witch wants this shit clean. Like new, dig?
Worker #1: (pointing) You mean ... that stone?
Guard: (pointing up and down entire battlement) All them motherf***ing stones. That's what I mean!

Worker #2: How does she define "clean" ...?
Guard: "White." That's how she defines it. These stones used to be white.
Worker #1: That's racist.
Guard: Ain't got nothing to do with me. She's the f***ing witch, dumbass. Bitch turn you inside-out with one look. She want these motherf***ers painted purple paisley, the appropriate response is, "Yes, ma'am. Happy to do it."
Workers: (in unison) Happy to do it. Sir.

Guard throws down bulky haz-mat suits, gloves, and scrub brushes.

Guard: Now stop f***ing stalling and put this shit on.
Worker #1: Man, It's hot! I don't wanna ...
Guard: It's protective clothing, motherf***er. (pointing) See that bucket? You scrub with that. That's hydrochloric acid. One drop of that on your skin eat right through you. You like that?
Worker #2: No.
Guard: No, you wouldn't.
Worker #1: What's in the other bucket?
Guard: The one labeled "water"...?
Worker #1: Yeah.
Guard: That's water. You scrub off the acid with that when you're done.
Worker #1: Makes sense.
Guard: Man, shut the f**k up, put on these protective gloves, strap that mask to your face, and start scrubbing. Don't breathe the shit, spill that shit, touch the shit, or do nothing with it. Are we cool?
They nod.
Guard: Man, I hate this f***ing job.

Guard walks off.

The Workers gingerly put on the Haz-Mat suits and gloves.

A noisy commotion erupts. (OS)

Worker #1: Oh hell, now what?
Worker #2: Some political thing.
Worker #1: Our green employer is chasing a chick in a blue dress and three idiots. How the hell is that political?
Worker #2: That "chick in the blue dress." She's a refugee. Killed the Witch's sister or some shit. Now the Witch wants her magic shoes so she can take over the whole kingdom.
Worker #1: You believe that shit?
Worker #2: Well, the Witch does. That's what f***ing counts.
Worker #1: Christ, they're getting closer. 
Witch: (OS) How about a little fire, Scarecrow?
Worker #2: Ah, she just set the strawman on fire.
Scarecrow: (OS) Ahhhh! Ahhh!

Dorothy's hands reach into the frame. She grabs the bucket of hydrochloric acid. Pulls it out of frame.

Worker #1: Oy! Little girl, that's hazardous!

Worker #2: Don't touch ...
Witch: (OS) Aggggh! I'm melting! Melting! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I'm going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Worker #1: What a senseless waste of human life. 

Worker #1 whistles, nonchalantly picks up the bucket of hydrochloric acid, and then tosses it off the parapet.

They walk away.