I Have Seen the Future and it's the Bee's Knees

Art by Bob Lavin. Cover illustration for Hunt Collins' (aka Ed McBain's) "Tomorrow and Tomorrow."

The Time Traveler and his Wife pop into the future from the Roaring Twenties. Their Time Machine resembles the offspring of a Flivver and a Van de Graaff generator. They gawp at the inhabitants of the shiny, candy-colored city of the future.

Mr. Time Traveler: The future’s the cat’s meow, I tells ya!
Mrs. Time Traveler: Oh, but darling … so much pastel!
Mr. Time Traveler: Tell me about it. And not a straw boater in sight!
Mrs. Time Traveler: And the women are so … so overdeveloped. 

Mr. Time Traveler: Well, it’s the future, ain’t it? Evolution or whatever. By future standards, these dames might be flat-chested.
Mrs. Time Traveler: Oh, these chippies are shameless! I think we should go back to your time machine!
Mr. Time Traveler: You know what I think?
Mrs. Time Traveler: No, darling. 
Mr. Time Traveler: Howzabout you go back to the time machine? Set the dial to 1929 and take a powder. Meanwhile, I’ll snag me a pastel shirt and reconnoiter on the QT. Get the lowdown on the moral depravity. Hearst'll eat it up, know what I mean? 
Mrs. Time Traveler: No. How will you get back? 

They walk over to the Time Machine.

Mr. Time Traveler: Let me worry about that. Here, doll. Take a seat.
Mrs. Time Traveler: OK. I love you. 
Mr. Time Traveler: Sure you did. Twenty-three skiddoo, baby.

Mr. Time Traveler pushes a button. The Time Machine disappears with Mrs. Time Traveler in it.

Loudspeaker: Sexual fulfillment exercises begin in five minutes. Interested parties, please gather at the Orgasmic Interociter for further instructions.

The depraved Futurians squeal with glee and run.

The Time Traveler flings his straw boater to the sky and joins them.