Wednesday, December 2, 1998

Clinton's Closing Time

(to the tune of "Closing Time" by Semisonic)

Closing time - time for you to zip up

Little Willy and tuck him in.

Closing time - just like Jimmy Swaggart

On TV you can cry "I've sinned.”

Closing time - it's back to the Antarctic

For a slice of Hillary's Eskimo Pie.

Closing time - you ain't no JFK –

But it’s not like you didn't try.

You know no one wants Al Gore in office...

Reincarnation of Gerald Ford.

No one says they want to read about your orifice...

But the papers are selling more.

Closing time - time for Kenny Starr

to remove his nose from your bum.

Closing time - the Puritans can berate you

And masturbate until they come.

So gather up your dresses and take them to the cleaners

Hope they scrub out the DNA.

Closing time - just like Richard Nixon

Make a peace sign and fly away.

You know it's a morality play for morons.

The shock jocks and the fundies...

William Bennett in his undies...

So drop a bomb on Mr Towelhead's farm.

Closing time - the fat lady is singing.

Time to hand her a big cigar.

Closing time -- seems a slight overreaction...

To your hand in the nookie jar.

You know it's not 1968.

You know who came too late.

You know just whose head is on the plate...

John the Southern Baptist on his first date.

Closing time - every vast right-wing conspiracy...

Comes from some vast left-wing fuckup in the end.

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