Thursday, February 7, 2008

John McCain is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

JOHN McCAIN as a little child approaches a daisy. He plucks it.

CHILD: Ten, nine, eight, seven ...

Atomic blast.

McCAIN comes back to consciousness, strapped to a hospital gurney in an underground lab in Vietnam.

DR. YINGTONG: Hello, Mr. McCain. As you can see, we are aware of your greatest fear.


DR. YINGTONG: Yes. (smiling) You are here with us, Mr. McCain. You have been here all the time. You will always be here. Now. Please answer a simple question. (holding up a daisy) How many petals remain on that flower? Answer the question, Mr. McCain.

McCAIN: Lieutentant Commander McCain!


McCAIN: Lieutenant Commander; John McCain; serial number 624787.

DR. YINGTONG: Please. A soldier in an illegal army is a soldier who does not exist. You must awake from your delusion, Mr. MCCain. I am a doctor. I am here to help you.(gestures) The truth will set you free, Mr. McCain. As you can see, you are not alone.

McCAIN sees HILLARY CLINTON and BARACK OBAMA, also strapped to medical tables.

OBAMA: I hate white people. Fuck all you cracker motherfuckers!

HILLARY: I’m smarter than all of you! You’re all a bunch of idiots!

DR. YINGTONG: They speak only the truth. They are free. Soon you will be free, Mr. McCain.

HILLARY: I like men. I like women too. So the hell what?

OBAMA: Reverend Right was right. America done fucked this planet up. You think God likes that shit?

DR. YINGTONG: How many petals, Mr. McCain. How many petals?

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